Grr

My mom called me today to see how I was doing, and though I'm sure she was concerned, it was just a ploy to tell me how to look for a job.
I just don't get it. If my son was homeless 50 miles away I sure as hell would at the very least offer him my couch. I'm just stymied about the fact that it has not happened in two months.
I love her, but she I'm only now realizing is fucked in the head.
Why am I homeless? A bad decision, or strew of them, and unwillingness to live a life I'm not meant for. And of course my new founded inability to stand on my feet for long hours at a time.
I started my walk because I was miserable with my life. I sure as fuck don't want to go back to that. I would rather go dumpster diving than have that life again.
That doesn't mean that I want to be homeless, it means I have to have a good start.
I told her I applied at a call center and delivery driver jobs. But that I would do the call center only if no other options came my way.
Her advice was that I have so much potential and should do more with my life. Great advice for any other time than now.
She also said I should just take what I can get. And though that's true enough, it's just not a valid option.  First, getting a job at 47 as an entry level position is difficult. No one hires grey haired folks to start a new career. Taking what I can get, depends on where I apply. I shouldn't have applied at  call center, and should never have told her. That's her idea of a decent job, not mine.  Its not a job I would keep, even if I had the clothes for it. It would only be to get back on my feet.
Pizza delivery is my only real option. That gets me around 15 bucks an hour including tips, when money is scarce.
Even part time is worth it.